My name is Fear
ABOUT THE ARTWORK: I was seven years old when I got sacred for the first time. I was getting back from school when my friend told me: “Did you know that if you reveal your hair out of your scarf, God will punish you by hanging you from it?” When I was 26, after all those fears and tragedies, I decided to stop saying my prayers and fearing God and Hell. One day my husband locked me up in the house to stop me from reading books, going to the university, seeing my family, and involving with society. It was the same day when an earthquake hit our city and I was locked up in a house on the 10th floor. The thing that I was most worried about was finding the safest place to stand on but at once I felt an empty space beneath my feet and now that is how I am afraid of people and events like quakes. However these fears have worn out and whenever they hit me, I take a step back and hide. Even not being scared comes from being scared. Within people’s silence and their eyes I can find fear. As if “fear” is the other name for me. I had not paid attention to the rules and traditions before my marriage, which ended up to a tragic divorce, shortly after. I was living in a swamp, alive but unaware. I was just like grass that had grown in a swamp, with no roots and identity. My whole identity was defined by my father’s name, my husband’s name, and my future unborn son. As a woman, I had no identity or power without a man. Then, I was confronted with this question, “Who am I?” My life was just like a portrait overshadowed by some men from different angles. In the search for myself, I discovered the seed of growth in me. I faced towards the sun and let that seed to flourish into a lotus
ABOUT THE ARTIST: My name is Sima Choubdarzadeh. I am 33 years old from Iran. When I was a little girl my father bought me photography books. I remember that I looked at them most times and it remained in my back of mind. Because I did not take photo in that time seriously and I did not want to be a photographer I was a girl who thought always and because of that I studied philosophy at university in MA degree. Though I love philosophy, I have to relate it in my life and make it practical and concrete. It is really difficult for me to find a way: I concluded that art is the solution of my dilemma. I try some art class like music, dancing and woodcarving but all of them did not cure my mind engagement. Finally, I discovered my childhood remains of mind and soul. I have been doing photography for 3 years. Now I am really pleased. I can make balance between my rationality and emotion. They dance with each other.